Many years ago, as a new Eagle Coach, I began coaching a young man who was six months shy of his 18th birthday. He had not started his Eagle Scout Service Project, and still needed a few merit badges. He had all but given up hope when I appeared.
He was grateful as we met for the first time. I asked him what might get in his way as he tackled the difficult, but not impossible task of completing his service project in six months.
“Oh, Mr. Hunt, I am a real procrastinator,” he quickly answered.
I replied, “And what do you think you could do about that?”
He was silent for a moment and said to me (and I am not making this up!), “I need a kick in the butt… but it can’t be my mom!”
I answered, “It sounds like you are asking me to kick your butt.”
“I guess I am.”
“If we planned out a schedule together, would you agree to stick by it, and be accountable to me?”
“Yes.”
I love this story because it so perfectly depicts the struggle that human beings face as adolescents. The need to prove ourselves. The growing need to be independent of parents, but nevertheless, nervous about doing it all alone. And most of all, the absolute need for a mentor. Someone, not our parents, who will accept us for who we are and listen to us seriously without judgment. Most adults can name someone that took an interest in them when they were young and made a huge impact on their lives. A mentor can be a grandparent, an aunt, a neighbor, a teacher, an athletic coach, or of course, a Scout leader.
As your child works his or her way toward Eagle Scout rank, please encourage him or her to interact with mentors. Even if you have been a Scout leader for many years, purposefully avoid counseling your own son or daughter whenever possible. Send your child elsewhere. As an example, in most Scout troops, parents are not allowed to tent with their child on outings. It interrupts the patrol method as well as the mentorship process. Parents are expected to be mentors to all the other Scouts.
Scouting is powered by adult volunteers. Scoutmasters and their assistants, merit badge counselors, committee members, Eagle coaches – all are interested in helping young people. The more your child is exposed to this village of concerned mentors, the faster he or she will grow in wisdom and maturity.
When I compliment parents on their hardworking or courteous son or daughter, I sometimes get a reply that questions whether we are talking about the same boy or girl! This usually has nothing to do with their parenting, and everything to do with the fact that my relationship with their child is a mentoring one. This is one reason that Scouting is a great way to help your child grow, whether he or she becomes an Eagle Scout or not. If your child stays with the program, he or she will basically have caring adult mentors for his or her entire adolescence.
And what happened to the boy who uttered this memorable quote? As we neared his 18th birthday, the timing was so close that my wife asked me, after he had left our house one day, whether he was actually going to make it. I told her one of two things was going to happen, both of them good. He would either become an Eagle Scout, or he would have a life-long lesson about procrastination that he would never forget!
He became an Eagle Scout.